View source for Now Open: Talismonger, talismans, talismongering, please shop here, buy now, going out of business

{{NewsHeader|
|Image=
|ImageSizeOverride=
|Date=2085-04-17
|NewsSource=P2.1
|Reporter=Loputyn
|Metaplot=
|Intro=
}}

📣🌟📰 EXTRA, EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT! 📰🌟📣

Hey hey hey, fellow Seattlites and wanderin' folks! Have ya heard about the latest craze in town? Well, lemme tell ya, it's a real doozy! 🤪🎉

Introducing the one and only '''Talismonger, talismans, talismongering, please shop here, buy now, going out of business!''' Yep, ya read that right, we got EVERYTHING ya need to spice up yer life with a bit o' magic, charm, and a whole lotta pizzazz! ✨🔮💫

Now, I know what yer thinkin', "But Loputyn, Loputyn, Loputyn, why should I bother checkin' out yer shop?" Well, lemme break it down for ya in simple terms, my dear pals: WE'RE GOIN' OUTTA BIZNESS! 😱😭

That's right, folks! This ain't no drill! We're talkin' once-in-a-lifetime, blink-and-ya-miss-it kinda deal! So, ya better hustle yer bustle on down here before we vanish into thin air like a fart in the wind! 💨💨

And hey, if ya need more persuadin', just remember, every purchase ya make helps support the Puyallup revitalisation project! Ain't that somethin' worth fightin' for? I sure as heck think so! 🌱🌷🌳

So, what are ya waitin' for? Come on down to '''Talismonger, talismans, talismongering, please shop here, buy now, going out of business!''' TODAY and snag yerself some magical goodies before it's too late! Trust me, ya won't regret it! 🛍️✨

And remember, folks, Loputyn loves ya! Now get on over here and let's make some magic happen! 🎩🐰💥