Cocaine Bears of the Republic?
Fennec's Stream
Date: 06 August 2084 By: Fennec
“Hi hi, ShiroFennec Deeeeeeeeeeeeesu! I'm back for the second half of our Miami Vice theme stream! Welcome back to the 80's, chat!!” DNI tomfoolery flows freely over the front of the mirrored shades that the foxboy currently wears atop his usual persona. “We're back after that very secret, super important mission! You see, chat, what happened is that - wait hang on, should I tell you guys this? Hrm." A hand touches to his chin - then a pair of tails curl around front to touch to either side of it, the foxboy doing his best thinking man pose. "Eh, well, we'll cover what made the news! Check it out chat!"
A tail stretches out of frame before springing back in with a pair of video feeds - one of a giant woman, her features blurred out to the point that she looks like a polygonic blob. The motions, however, show that she's fistfighting a cybered, drugged up bear with eyes made wild by the mix of drugs fed to it. "Look! It's cocaine bear! Scary! I bet it says lines from Scarface. 'Okaaaaaaay, I'm reloooaaaaaadiiiiiiiiiing!" Fingers waggling, the foxboy flicks the scene over to a shot of the crowd. "See these guys, though? In the cheap looking buttonups with the UCAS flags? Yeah, these guys are Republican donors! Now, the average UCAS citizen will take one look at this and say, 'Wow, that's one unethical thing those Republican guys like to watch! I won't vote for them.' Well, chat, here's the thing with that, ha ha."
The fox leans in, one finger tucking under the (nonexistent) camera, pulling it in closer to his face. "I know what they're -really- up to. You know it too, right chat? C'mon, give me your best guess!"
A burst of AR feed scrolls over his eyes. "Thanks for the superchat BiggestElephant1217! No, I don't like elephants with big ears, and I don't get what that has to do with anything! Thanks Seimuseimu for the ten, that's a good guess but not quite right! You see, what's really going on is: The Republicans are being funded by Ares to legalize Cocaine Bears as an enforcement method for retaking the Redmond Barrens for the city. Wooooooooo, spoooooooky." Fingers waggle, tails sway.
"... What do you mean that's not enough of a conspiracy theory? Shut up chat! Bwah. Let's go back to playing that game about stealing cars in the 1980's again!"
And the stream moves on from the news section.