Slay Bells

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Slay Bells
LocationSnohomish, Seattle Metroplex
Status Threat Level: High
Factions Involved
Saint Nick
Furry Vampire Santa and Co.
King Beef
Spirit of Beasts
Casualties and losses
Krampus, Spirit of Beasts
King Beef’s K-10 addiction goes up to Moderate level – he also picked up new addictions to Dopadrine and Guts


In which the team are asked by Saint Nick to hunt down “Krampus”.

The Meet

The team are contacted and told to meet at Santa’s Workshop in Snohomish – everyone manages to make it there without any serious issues, though Rooster taking public transit and thus has to walk through the snow towards the sprawl outskirts for a bit after reaching the end of the line (luckily Skimmer spots him while driving by and gives him a lift). Arriving, the team notice an old VW van belonging to Jerry parked off to the side of Saint Nick’s warehouse, but roll it in with the general weirdness of the place (Charon and King Beef have worked for Nick before and know what to expect, while the rest of the team grows increasingly flabbergasted at the madness that ensues).

Inside, Saint Nick greets the team with milk and cookies, which he serves to them while explaining the job – he tells them that an “old colleague” of his has come to town, which is bad news for all the “bad children” in Seattle. Relay quickly loses patience with trying to get any actually reliable info out of the chiphead, letting Charon handle most of the facing duties as the vampire patiently walk through the situation and learn what they can about what he wishes from them.

Eventually Nick leads the team into his factory floor, where Jerry waits, enjoying a bit of deepweed to calm his nerves. The team has little luck getting cogent information out of the sasquatch, especially since none of them know ASL and they have to use Nick as an interpreter, but eventually they are shown a photo of a savaged adolescent sasquatch and learn that something called “Krampus” is terrorizing Jerry’s friends. Nick tells the team that he wants them to drive Krampus away (he doesn’t believe that killing him is possible) and stop the attacks on the sasquatches – a task for which he will pay them 20k nuyen, each. Rooster is overjoyed with this promise, and the rest of the team is satisfied enough to go out into the middle of the snowy wilderness after a target which they have no actual information about.

The Plan

Relay and Skimmer, ever the consummate professionals, are already out the door and heading to Relay’s truck for the trip. King Beef and Rooster meanwhile are enamored with the drug-smoking sasquatch and wish to take a ride with Jerry instead. Charon manages to convince King Beef to see reason, and Jerry catches on to what she is doing, encouraging Rooster via grunts and warbles to stay with his friends and providing Charon with a physical map with the approximate location of the sasquatches circled. Bringing the map to Relay (who starts using his orientation system to calculate a route), she hops in the cab while King Beef and Rooster get into the storage module on the Armadillo to hotbox it with deepweed.

Driving into the woods, Relay is able to navigate the snow-covered wilderness while Charon and Skimmer keep an eye out for potential threats; Charon spots a large number of wild animals fleeing from the oncoming vehicle, while Skimmer is able to catch a glimpse of a sasquatch watching them from the woods. He informs the team and they send the footage from his image link to Jerry for verification, but it is too blurry to tell whether or not this is their quarry. Meanwhile, King Beef is seeing the astral for the first time and freaking out, with Rooster providing trip-sitting services. Relay deploys a drone with an ultrasound sensor to try to locate hidden targets, which incidentally drives away all the bats in the area – all but one which waits patiently and watches them go before flying off when Relay tries to investigate.

Eventually Skimmer realizes that everything is fleeing at their approach, and they are unlikely to draw their target out into the open while still in the vehicle; being rather short for an elf at 5’5”, he proposes the bold plan of having himself pose as a lost adolescent to serve as bait for Krampus. Relay reprograms his RPC cloak to resemble regular clothes (in order to hide his FBA and weapons), while Charon turns into mist and flies up into the treetops to provide some areal cover. While waiting for King Beef and Rooster’s deepweed high to wear off, Relay’s drone spots a dark-furred sasquatch watching them from the treeline – this time the photo is clear enough for Jerry to confirm that this is the creature which has been stalking the sasquatch commune, but when Charon goes to investigate she can find no trace of it. However between her and Relay they are able to put together the fact that the creature is most likely a Jabberwock, and thus learn a few details about it (such as that it will likely try to attack from above).

The Run

Once King Beef and Rooster are no longer forcibly astral perceiving, the team is ready to put their plan into action. With Charon (and Relay, via drone) scouting out via the air, the team locates a nearby clearing in the forest to set their ambush. KB and Rooster do their best to be stealthy as they wait nearby under cover of invisibility and concealment, while Charon mist forms up to the top of a large tree to wait with Relay’s rotodrone. Skimmer, making a convincing elf teenager as possible, wanders aimlessly into the clearing, cursing God and his parents and anyone else for his terrible Christmas gifts in the hops of looking like a “naughty child” – he sells the con masterfully, attracting Krampus’ attention.

The Jabberwock mysad stalks its prey from the treetops, transforming itself into a large bird of prey before activating its adrenaline surge and elemental body, quickly soaring out overtop of Skimmer before transforming and Morningstar Falling down to ambush him. Luckily Relay’s drone manages to spot the concealed creature, however the rigger ends up surprised due to poor rolls on the resulting surprise test (thankfully the rest of the team are not surprised thanks to his warning).

Krampus, wreathed in unnatural cold, attempts to grab Skimmer, who puts his magically-improved and edge-enhanced reflexes to work and manages to dodge the incoming blow; he returns fire with complex full auto targeted at the head, scoring a hit despite the monster’s terrible speed. Charon fires from the treetops as well, though her hand cannon isn’t as accurate as Skimmer’s assault rifle. Over near KB and Rooster, Krampus’ spirit ally (a terrifying-looking albino beast) manifests to induce fear – Rooster decides to nope right the hell away from that and attempts to fire at Krampus through the snow, barely missing with his own CFA. Meanwhile, KB speedballs 5 drugs at once and deletes the spirit with a single well-placed electric punch before they have a chance to take effect. His plant spirit, with standing orders to activate the endowed regeneration power on him if he is hurt (which he was by the massive drug interactions damage), begins making him regenerate as it seeks cover (this will be mostly unimportant to the course of the fight, but get a lovely comedic callback in the aftermath).

The jabberwock continues its vicious assault on Skimmer, who just barely manages to keep out of its reach as he returns his own assault rifle fire, chipping slowly away at Krampus’ edge. Relay, a bit high on zen with his reflexes slowed, manages a BSB with his drone which Krampus barely avoids, with Rooster following up with successful fire from his SMG that manages to attract the monster’s attention. As it marches towards him menacingly, King Beef attempts an interception, but it avoids the strike and moves to rip Rooster apart with its bare hands. Thankfully he manages to avoid the strike, and with Krampus’ edge now drained completely the team are able to gang up on the jabberwock and work together in order put it down (with Relay scoring the killing blow with a successful sniper shot).


King Beef, high on K-10 and accelerator (which didn’t actually have a chance to take effect before the fight ended), begins taking his rage out on the local forest as the hallucinations kick in, making him believe the trees are laughing at him. Meanwhile, the rest of the team are just grateful to be alive and attempt to stay out of the rampaging minotaur’s way – Relay attempts to put the raging bull down with a narcojet needle, however he is still regenerating because of the spirit and immediately gets back up, screaming and running off into the woods where he spends the next 6 hours freaked the frag out.

Shrugging, the team call up Jerry to track down KB as they prepare to leave Krampus where he fell… then they think better of that, and Charon double taps the jabberwock by shooting it in the face before having Jerry deliver a can of gasoline, which they use to set the body alight with their new firewood. Having ensured that Krampus is 1000% for real dead and beyond the reach of the Hand of God, they congratulate themselves on a job well done and return to Santa’s Workshop. (Unfortunately, they fail to realize that Krampus infected one of his sasquatch victims off-screen, so Krampus 2 will return in time for next year’s holiday season – not to mention the wendigo assistant that’s still out there…)

Meeting back up with Saint Nick, the team present proof of their success to he and Jerry. Both are happy that the sasquatches will no longer be troubled (for now anyway…), and Saint Nick presents the team with their promised payment, along with a jar of cookies each. He also asks everyone if there was something that they want as a late Christmas gift, doing his best to accommodate their requests. Rooster simply asks for more of “the good stuff” from Jerry, while KB naturally requests more K-10. Charon asks for a Saab Dynamite (sadly she was on the naughty list this year, however Nick compromises after she promises to be nice from now on and hooks her up with a Dealer Connection in their shared acquaintance). Relay asks for a new drone assistant, since his Evo Proletarian has been having some issues, so Nick provides him with a “Partner in KRIME” (a knock-off S-K Direcktionsekretar). Skimmer asks for some DU rounds, which sadly Nick does not have on hand – however he does know where to get some, and promises to keep Skimmer on his list for the future. As a consolation prize, he gives Skimmer a green elf outfit complete with curly-toed elf booties, which he is happy to accept.


  • 20,000 nuyen
  • 6 karma
  • 2 CDP
  • Optional Contact: Saint Nick (C2/L2 “Santa Claus”) for 3 RVP or 6 CDP
  • Optional Contact: Jerry (C3/L1 Road Tripper) for 3 RVP or 6 CDP
  • Optional Gear Reward: Weapons/ammo/explosives/drugs up to 14F OR KRIME products and K-10 up to 18F @ 2:1 RVP value
  • For Charon: Dealer Connection for vehicles through Frank Goldman (previously networked for through Nick) @ chargen price (3 karma)
  • For King Beef: Drug Tolerant (for doing 6 different drugs in the span of a single night) @ chargen price (6 karma)
  • For Skimmer: A custom-fit Santa’s Elf Helper outfit, and the promise of DU rounds in the future.
  • For All: One (1) Jar of Cookies (blood cakes, in Charon’s case)

Game Quotes

Player After Action Reports (AARs)


Hired by Santa to kill Krampus. Seriously. At least as serious as a BTL-addicted humanized troll who thinks he's the living incarnation of Santa Claus can get. And a sasquatch named Jerry who speaks American Sign Language. Stranger things have happened, but not to me. Anyway, we load up in Relay's ride, with Rooster and King Beef smoked to the gills, me and Charon riding at the windows watching for anything that moves. Eventually, I get the grand idea to play bait, which no one bothers to talk me out of. It works swimmingly, with me dodging for all I'm worth to keep this nasty Krampus looking jabberwocky from eviscerating me with it cold, cold talons. Predictably, KB jerks his drug chain, going all ape shit and crushing something sneaking around in the background that I for one never even saw. Unfortunately, it looks like the King may have juiced up for no reason, because after the tender ministrations provided by the rest of us, bad old Krampus goes down for the count. That doesn't deter KB however, as he begins to vent his wrath on the local flora and fauna for the foreseeable future. The rest of us have a little bonfire starring Krampus, then head back to report all is well. Could have been worse; that was the closest I've come to getting tagged since coming to Seattle, and believe you me, I'm not so sure I would have walked away from that one. Fun times.


I should probably stop breaking my fall with my kneecaps. Oh, well. First time in a long, long time that I've come across a jabberwock. They look about what I remember them looking like. The chiphead Johnson's not really an issue, though I do need to look into how the hell he knows... anyway. Something for me to think of later. Relay and Skimmer should start getting used to dealing with lunatics like KB; as much as he is a madman, he has his uses. Just need some gentle nudging to guide him in the right direction. Maybe he's too young to realize how to guide those kinds of simple forces. Maybe he'll figure it out by the time he's in his fifties.


I am a professional. I address the needs in my community, and I am compensated for a dangerous line of work. I am a professional. Like...okay, so....okay. Some chipped up psychopath with a satan Santa complex sends us off to shrek some jabberwocky. Skimmer is pure class incarnate, Rooster's green, but his heart's in the right place. Meanwhile, I haven't seen King Beef since a run in with Saeder Krupp but it turns out he's just lost his mind. We start a fight and he just speedballs meth, K-10, horse tranqs, and friggin lighter fluid or something. We down the Jabberwocky, and then I dart beefsteak to chill his ass out, and he drops like a ton of bricks.

For like, two seconds. Then he stands up, tosses the dart aside, and just starts smashing trees. Like--here's Mr. Universe animorphed into half a cow just punching trees until they fall over ripped all to shit on K10. We had to leave him there to cool off; it was too dangerous to bring him in. I don't mind popping a little Jazz before a fight to get the upper hand. Gangers fight dirty, and we've got to do our part to stay alive. I keep a packet or two of psyche in my car pretty much 24/7. But like, holy moly fellas. This was a bad college mascot being solo responsible for deforestation while we blew into our hands to keep them warm in the friggin' forest.

I managed to put my little buddy in a real body, though. He's dumber than dirt, but he's always trying to help. At least something positive came from this experience as I watch chip heads who think they're Santa pay minotaurs to get ridiculously high and turn forests into firewood, I'm sitting here realizing my best friend is a drone who does more harm than good when repairing my shit. It's been a long night, chummers. A long night.


Hot drek, what a run! We met Santa! Well, he was a troll chiphead who thinks that he's santa, but close enough bob. He had good cookies, great drugs, and a problem with some sorta sasquatch vampire. Also a whole bunch of elves. And Guns. And BTLs. It was weird. It got weirder when he introduced us to his sasquatch friend named Jerry who buys the good deepweed from him. That sasquatch spoke in sign language, and drove a wiz old van.

Anyway, we drove off into the woods in Relay's truck to find the sasquatch vampire that was eating sasquatch children. King Beef, a big minotaur boxer or some drek, hotboxed the back of the truck with me. After that, we dressed Skimmer up as a small child for some reason and then wandered into the woods. That lured the sasquatch vampire out. Things got dicey, but we shot it to shit. Killed its spirit buddy too. Easy money. Then King Beef did a victory lap beating trees to death for a while. He was high as fuck. I was gonna keep an eye on him, but Jerry volunteered.

After that we went back to Santa and got paid. He offered us a lot of goods instead of nuyen though, which was awesome. I loaded up on bullets and deepweed, and I even found a tricked out new praetor!

King Beef Man I still can't believe I actually got to meet Santa Claus and he's big and loves KRIME. He was more perfect than anyone evrr told me about. Oh yeah and he paid me to go and punch stuff to death for him so that was really fun too. Though the team was pretty good they still don't seem like they'd be that good in a fistfight, but I guess not everyone can match the ex-Champ.