Happiness Is a Warm Gun (Or Knife, Or Stun Baton)

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Happiness Is a Warm Gun (Or Knife, Or Stun Baton)
GMKeeper M
LocationKrime Factory, Carbonado, Puyallup, Seattle
Status Threat Level: Medium
Factions Involved
Gran NY
Voice of the Whirlwind
Amihan Bayani
Casualties and losses
None None (NW Wall?)
This was played out in a thread in the PBP channel on the Discord server.


Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Gran NY hires the runners in the latest spat of her bitter rivalry with Maman Brijit, another fixer, of whom she disapproves terribly. What better way to best her? Yes, bust her plans half a month in advance.


Krime has production lines in Europe by default, but Carbonado has recently seen a factory built. Overseen by Amihan Bayani, a retired Huk Navy ensign now lending Krime some nautical warfare know-how, it's pushing itself in two projects: gun components aimed at better performance underwater and alloys necessary for Victorinox Memory Blade knockoff production. Maman Brijit wishes to get her runners to scour the place for paydata, but is foolish enough to brag about it in front of her frenemy. This allows Gran NY to hire the team earlier to gather recordings for her out of her petty desire to spite Maman.

The Meet

Taking place at the Comfy Teacup tea shop and eatery in the worst area of the Downtown Seattle neighbourhood of Tukwila, a cat-infested haunt of Gran NY, ChromeDome, Voice of the Whirlwind and Rurosha attend the meet. No obvious weapons, no clear substance (ab)use, no misbehaving around her furballs. In return, real tea and flower soycookie biscuits in the backroom. All three are the epitome of politeness, which satisfies Gran NY, leading to a mutually-beneficial agreement in regards to payment: the fixer gets footage of what's happening in Carbonado, pay 6000¥ per capita, with the runners able to claim prototype materials used in production or sell them off to her for cold hard nuyen.

The Plan

Sometimes the simplest plan is the best. Combining their various life experiences and physical casing of the joint, the runners discover a number of things.

  • The facility is located in the primarily ork and troll neighbourhood of Carbonado, leading to the correct conjecture the rent-a-cops wouldn't be a bother.
  • The ventilation system is large enough for a person to crawl through due to using wheeled cleaning drones in them.
  • Magical security is limited to three F6 watchers and a druidic Manipulation, Earth spirit apprentice on the site, which a minor ward around Bayani's office (not visited).
  • Physical security is provided by six metahuman corpsec with runner entry level armour and automatic weapons.
  • A parking lot out front for delivery trucks and no windows (before the team made a gaping hole in the northwestern wall, that is).

Discovering their collective enjoys a Ford Americar, two Ares Roadmasters and assorted ordnance, the team settles on the decision to ram one through the wall and quickly execute a smash-and-grab.

The Run

After the collective decision, things happen very fast. ChromeDome drives his Roadmaster through the northwestern corner, putting a slight dent into it, the runners just shaken, the wall annihilated. The nearby corpsec and metahuman workforce take cover behind production lines. Voice of the Whirlwind makes a successful intimidation attempt to surrender not to get hurt. Next, she and Rurosha delve into the closest doors (north and south). ChromeDome keeps control of the hostages and films the production lines with his van's camera where Criado Juan drones are still working, their autosofts unprepared for a situation like "The psychos just blew through the wall like it was made of paper" (comment courtesy of ChromeDome) and just sticking to going through their preprogrammed motions. The ladies manage to record AROs listing alloy mixes in the smithy and grab boxes of gun components from two troll-sized shelves in the storage area examined under a minute when the rest of the metahuman corpsec and the security apprentice show up. After a brief tense exchange between them and the runners, the team can abscond safely with the promise of not harming anyone made. Watchers succeed at assensing the trio, but nobody gives chase after the group equipped like SWAT shock troopers.


The team is finished outstandingly fast (17:00-22:00 for the entire job), with no casualties bar for the wall, which Gran NY commends. They're given more hot tea and homemade spicy broth as she insists they're too skinny (disregard height and weight of each). Payment proceeds without any complications, those who wish to keep prototype materials able to do so, those without care for them compensated (13 RVP - 3 for the base pay). She's happy enough to teamwork in the future as a contact (the interested can spend 3 RVP on her as a 3/1 fixer). The runners are still high on assorted drugs, which leads to a rambling sermon on putting the poison into the body, but successful Etiquette tests guarantee she's available for purchase as a contact. Voice of the Whirlwind also adopts Munchkin, a little scrap unable to act like a proper cat and fascinated by her Critter Spook rather than afraid.


13 RVP:

  • 3 in 6000¥ base pay
  • 3 if the player wishes to purchase Gran NY as a contact
  • 5 if the player wishes to purchase Prototype Materials at chargen price
  • The rest as karma or nuyen (player's preference)

Game Quotes

Player After Action Reports (AARs)

Voice of the Whirlwind

Heh. The security guards were... sensible, actually. Didn't even have to shoot any of 'em with stick-n-shock for 'em to let us out with what we stole. Our J didn't have a proper appreciation for the role of pharmaceuticals in survival, but at least she still paid us.


The guards in the factory were surprisingly timid for where it was located. It went very smoothly, which was very weird for a change.