Palm Paradise

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Palm Paradise
Part of No legion but still deadly
LocationSeattle, Palm Paradise Eurosauna
Status Threat Level: Deadly
Factions Involved
ShadowHaven Ares
Ryan Danes
Cybered Bodyguard
Nadia Dark
big force of Palm Paradise Security
Casualties and losses


A matrix-bound Mr. Johnson summoned the party to retrieve some data that wasn't on the matrix in any tangible sense, after some messing around with employment records, septic sabotage, and social engineering, the party was able walk on out with the data and make the delivery back over the matrix.


The golden rabbit (an AI - see metaplot) has found out after some research in the depths of the Ares host that Ares has an interesting file about the secret Japano Con facilities. Unfortunately, the golden rabbit could only find references to the file, but not the file itself. However, he managed to find out that a relevant meeting on the subject will take place soon and the files will be physically transported by Nadia Dark. Therefore, it steals the calendar from Nadia and finds out that on the way to the destination she visits a strange place called Palm Paradise where there are things like saunas and swimming pools with which the AI can do nothing. Therefore, the golden rabbit decides to hire Runner to steal Nadia's data. However, the AI is not aware that the data is transported in the form of marker nanobots.

The Meet

The group met within the matrix, having to gather before in a specific point before getting yanked down a rabbit hole to Mr. Johnson's little nook, a rather shabby location, which the group noticed was decorated by someone who had no idea what went into making a comfortable room, with the odd, old chair thrown haphazardly about in an effort to look 'livable.' They were informed that the target was a collection of data that Johnson refused to elaborate on, all they got to know was that the information was very dangerous to be in ownership of, and that it was not on the matrix, but rather kept in a form of physical media entirely separate from it. Holding onto a schedule of the target who would be carrying the data, the party decided to take a closer look at the Palm Paradise Eurosauna.

The Plan

Meeting up at a runner bar after dropping back into meatspace, the party decided to take a dip into the matrix for some helpful information, although, due to some technical issues, the party ended up walking out of cyberspace with a tour of matrix facilities of the Sauna, and a list of contracting groups the company would call upon in case of emergencies. Pell gladly ordered a VIP ticket with some spare nuyen she had for an easy-in with the Sauna, letting her get nice and close to the target, so she had her way in set up. In the meantime, through some creative cracking, hacking, and brainstorming, the Decker Trio managed to forge employment records with the 'Super Pesky Plumbers' Plumbing service, a retro vidgame-themed firm the sauna relied on for their plumbing emergencies, with some fake facial hair and some purchased costumes, they were ready to make their entrance.
Working together, the group drummed up a plan, on the day of the target's appointment, Pell would go in before the group to scope the area out, waiting for their mark to arrive before going to the locker-room and sabotaging the toilets to give the plumbing team an excuse to enter, make the sabotage even worse, and justify blocking off the locker room so they could poke around the target's belongings for the data-package, if worse came to worse, Pell was meant to tail, and get close to the target to steal the data off of them if the locker turned up to be a dead lead.

The Run

The plan went as expected from the start, Pell spotted the target, flooded the toilet with a liberal application of spare toilet paper and feminine hygiene products, and got the trio of pseudo-Italian plumbers inside (After a good meal of course.) After wreaking some havoc in the stalls, a steady stream of toilet water was able to convince the staff of the necessity of letting the plumbers do their jobs in private. With some proper privacy, they rummaged through the target's locker, turning up some clothes, a purse, a commlink, but none of the target data, through some deliberation, they discovered the method of storage was actually the target's bloodstream. With that, it was time for Plan B.

The plumbing team fixed the mess Pell had caused in the bathroom and tried to get a shot at the lower levels of the sauna by suggesting they had a problem with the water pressure that would simply cause more issues in the long run, but, due to their repeated annoyance of the short-tempered manager in charge of the location, they were shown the door, and made their way for the truck to support Pell from the outside. Ultimately, through a mixture of matrix mishaps and poor luck, they figured it'd be better to give their internal agent a shot at it before causing more issues for everyone.

Pell got an in with the target, easily striking up a cordial conversation and getting them to let their guard down a little as they went along the scheduled routine they had been given. Using some astral peeking to gain a bit of an edge on the target, they were able to confirm that their blood was indeed the holder of the information they needed, in a lucky break, Pell was able to obtain a needle from the first-aid room with a well-placed lie about a medical condition while their payday was sleeping off in one of the side rooms. After some convincing, she was able to steer their spa day towards the Sauna, a poorly-lit, hot, heavy, and (most importantly) slippery location which the guards wouldn't butt-in on them. As soon as they were out of sight of the guards, Pell threw out a convincing trip and managed to get a needle into their target's backside while innocently apologizing for their little mishap, leaving none the wiser about their treachery. After that, all it took was a matter of stepping out after apologizing profusely once again and the mission was complete!


After some trickery and a quiet stroll out of the building, the party gathered in the truck and found a local area that could discretely parse out the data from the target's blood, after putting together the delivery for the Johnson. With a small meeting in their shabby matrix rabbit hole, they were handsomely rewarded with a lovely chunk of Nuyen and a congratulations on a job well done before being sent back out into meatspace.

All PC took a look into the data though they don´t make a copy.


- 16.000 Nuyen (8 RVP)
- 8 Karma (8 RVP)
- 6 CDP (2 RVP)

Game Quotes

"Damnit! Why do all my runs have to involve brothels!"

"We'll go as plumbers, as the tallest, you're wearing green."

"I just don't get it, 'It's-a-me' just doesn't make any damn sense grammatically."

"Don't tell me it's in their ass!" "Thankfully, your knowledge of the matrix informs you that the data is likely not stored in their ass."

"Let's a-go!" (Repeated every 5 minutes.)

Player After Action Reports (AARs)


This was a pretty low-key run, not that intense. Not sure what happened that the others were doing 5th World trideo game character cosplays. This place was nice, probably will go again in the future.

Ryan Danes

It was nice not having to risk life and limb for once, real quiet-like job, we made a bit of a mess in the process, but thankfully, this is the first job I can say I don't see coming back to bite me in the ass, the worst I had to go through was making a damn fool of myself with that accent the guys insisted I used when talking to the staff. Though, I think I walked away with a new trick to get into places, so it's all good in the end.