Nanosecond Buyout 2082
Nanosecond Buyout 2082
Date: 2082-05-20 By: Charli Relford
Thank you for continuing your subscription to Horizon NewsNet™ where "We Know What You're Thinking!" I'm Charli Relford, voted "Most Trusted Anchor in Seattle" by Horizon Internal Analytics three years running!
Our Top Story tonight: Amidst a strange presentation by Federated Boeing this morning, Cross Applied Technologies representative Cecelia Cross made a shocking announcement.
For those of our viewers that haven been watching the strange new sport that seems to be sweeping the nation, "Most Urban Brawl" will be aware that there has been an ad running for the last several broadcasts that has proclaimed something very strange...
[A ad file showing Brodie J, shirtless with his shark-tooth necklace, giving finger-guns to the camera next to text proclaiming that May 20th will be the day of "Cross Applied Technologies' revitalization" appears before shifting back to the conventionally attractive face of Charli Relford].
After the news earlier this month it was clear that Cross was on the rise once more, but to see them working alongside Federated Boeing was a surprise for many, and caused the stock market to begin fluctuating wildly. It did not help that the individual in that ad, one Alexander-James Johnson III, has something of a reputation for making outlandish claims. While a figure of some renown for innovative ideas in the field of aerospace design Mr. Johnson has also apparently launched several failed projects, including the "Brodie J Sleeves-only clothing line", the "Brodie J Narcotic Gun" and the "Brodie J Happy Hour, Sponsored by Horizon" which I am told had never been, nor was ever intended to be sponsored by Horizon or any of its subsidiaries. Mr. Johnson used the club E-Vue to hold this event for his company, it was attended by many members of the press, the community of Seattle and many friends and family members, including board members of both Federated Boeing and Cross Applied Technologies.
[The Camera shifts to a drone-recording of the interior of E-Vue, set up as though it was a theater. A large stage has replaced the DJ's booth, and the dance floor has been converted into tasteful seating. Sitting in the front row is the recognizable face of Alexander-James Brodrick Johnson II, along with Cecelia Cross, looking quite irate. Brodie J stands on the stage, tapping a microphone, instead of the normal bomber-jacket and mirrorshades, he is wearing a custom-tailored blue-grey suit and a black tie. As the camera focuses on him, he begins to speak.]
"Thank you all for coming. I know you are all busy, but I think this presentation will be a surprise to many of you. Over the last several months, I've been imagining a future where Federated Boeing isn't limited just to our reputation as an Aerospace company, and thought that there were options for us to move forward and expand our reach. Of course, you all know that in the tragedy that befell DeltaAir Flight 04319, my home was burned down at the same time, and many of my ideas went up in that inferno. Luckily no one was hurt in either event, and we can come together and support one another in this time. However it means I must present something different to you."
[While Brodie looks down at the crowd, Alexander-James Johnson II moves to get up, but Cecelia Cross stands up instead, leaving a shocked expression on the Fed-Bo executive's face]
"Merci Alexander. Yes, we were able to recover from such a strike against the Johnson family thanks to our community. However, it did also illustrate something, that several of the Federated Boeing members here were seemingly somewhat aware of this project of Alexander's and were posed to buy stock in Cross Applied Technologies. Now of course, I would never hold this against them, after all, Cross is a publicly traded corporation, and we very much appreciated the interest in our corporation. However, it seems as though some of the stock must have slipped through the cracks, and as a proud member of the Cross family, I thought that it was only right to ensure that such rounding errors were fixed."
[An Augmented Reality screen appears., showing the real-time fluctuations in stock prices. It also seems to display several accounts where shares had been purchased. Several members of the crowd begin to mutter uncomfortably as Cecelia begins to speak once more.]
"These accounts seemed to be made as stop-gaps for the stocks that could be transferred at another time. However it seems that they did not have legitimate owners... which means that as the market opens today..." [Cecelia looks at an ornate watch on her wrist as the stock price quickly drops, and all the shares in the displayed accounts drain away] "The impropriety was resolved at my request, which leaves a good amount of Cross stock unclaimed." [In another moment, the shares seem to flow into another account that appears, labelled with the CATco logo, filling up as the stock price begins to rise once more, until it reaches a new high "I thought it was in my interest to pick up those poor abandoned shares, which, along with those I've had for some time now, makes me the twenty-six percent owner of Cross Applied Technologies."
[Cecelia smiles, a gaze that could freeze the air around them directed at Alexander-James Johnson II, while Brodie J approaches and declares a new engineering project in conjunction with Cross, causing the stock price to rise even more, all in the space of a few seconds. The camera returns to Charli Relford]
"Amazing, it is as though we were just witness to a brand new Nanosecond Buyout. Of course, the Horizon News Network was able to catch up with Mr. Johnson III and Ms. Cross later that day"
[The camera switches once more, it seems to be outside E-Vue, with a red-skinned troll grabbing at the drone in vain attempt to stop it while yelling something in Or'zet that is bleeped a half-second too late. The camera catches up to Brodie J who is back in his bomber jacket and mirrorshades, while Cecelia is still in her business attire. Charli's voice comes through the drone, asking for an interview]
"Awh yeah! Charli dude! The Brodie J is jazzed about that. Did you see that? It was like whoa, and then everyone was like whoa, and then we were like... WOAH. Ya know?"
"Mon dieu... Apologies Ms. Relford. Alexander and I have some other business to attend to, and must leave you wanting. However I will thank you for being here, as well as your wonderful coverage of the DeltaAir incident"
"Yeah... who'd have thought we'd owe so much to the s̶͔̩ͅh̶̹͙̖͎͇͘͟a͏̷̻͇͚͈͍̦̯̝͢d̬̱̝̟̼̺̣͘͠ͅo̲̺̫̦͝w̼̤̥͎̺͜d̡̘̭̮͍̜̪̩͓̕ư̵͓̘͙͡d҉̺͚̟̬͖̪̭͖e̡̝̙̩͎̯͉͈s̳͚̯̩̪̫͇͢"
[There is a flash of static, and the feed goes dark. The observant among watchers might have caught a series of sparkles and the stained-glass like vision of a wing before static filled the trid feed.]